Recently my 92 year old grandma sent me an email, with some guidance for love, and it resonated with something i’ve found to be truer than true for some time
namely – love itself is not enough to remain together
one of the most valuable lessons i’ve learned when it comes to healthy relationships is to make sure you establish your logistical needs before you commit to anything. thats to say, you need to make sure you’re both on the same page with what you want from a relationship. do you wanna see them a lot? are you a big texter? are you ok with all their hobbies?
without establishing what you both want and finding a happy medium, later on when you become more settled you’ll find these things you glazed over in the honeymoon period may start to bother you, and by then you’re in too deep.
of course, things can change without warning anyway, but preparing for what you can anticipate is more than worthwhile. it’s so important not to tone it down on the things that are important to you in an attempt to seem ‘chilled’, because at the start you’re definitely in a position to be more relaxed about the issues anyway, when you haven’t had to deal with them yet. ya crazy will come out later on so it’s better to deal with them before they’ve started annoying the shit outta you
so, to conclude, when things are starting up with someone, make sure to try and predict whether you’re going to mesh logistically, so that your arguments later on down the line don’t have to be about trivial things like him not texting you back or seeing you enough, cuz you’ll know what the agreed deal is.