I always attempt to imagine how a situation will plan out. partly because i’m mental and seem to think i can control these things, but thats not the point. I’m pretty sure i’m not the only one. (??)
I was talking about it recently, how i’ll try and predict conversations before they happen, in a desperate attempt to protect myself and have my actions prepared so i don’t fuck up. also maybe if something bad happens it wont hit as hard? but, as my wise friend little dais once said, “worrying is a debt you don’t yet owe” and i love it.
bless us thinking we have a clue whats coming; you’d think by this point we’d have worked out that it really doesn’t work out as we’d planned. how many times does that horrifying thing happening next week actually go ok, or not happen at all? how many great things we’re sure are solid end up crumbling a week later?
obviously, so much harder done than said. to ask people not to think about the future is unlikely, but there’s a difference between planning and unhelpful imagining. for example
exhibit a: party next weekend hurrah imma wear my dress with the stars on
exhibit b: a party next weekend hurrah but shoot me imma have to see that person and what if they’re off with me and what if i hurl myself down some stairs and people refer to me as staircase ella forever more and i never recover
point is, if you can, don’t bother. as if what you’re intending on, or fearing happening is going to happen. chances are they won’t and then you’ve only scared yourself
promise this isn’t a ‘be present’ ramble, just a ‘try not to plan whats going to happen and worry about it’ cuz god/the universe (my moneys on the latter) will laugh and it probably won’t happen and if it does, you’re not going to react how you’d planned anyway