Woooops its been 3 weeks but I’m sure all 3 of you won’t mind
back to taboo tuesdays and this week; self love! aka, bigging yourself up, accrediting positives to yourself privately and openly- but mainly openly. As Justin Bieber once said ‘I’m confident, not cocky’ and we all know he knows the difference
so imma just ramble about why i think it is we are so afraid of accrediting positives to ourselves in front of others and giving you a reason or two as to why you really should (drawing on the man of the century, the man who actually believes he would be in a modern day bible, and the man who has called himself the greatest artist alive, mr kanye omari west)
since we’ve been young, if you ever said anything positive about yourself in an assertive way you are instantly met with either ‘ey, how much do you love yourself’ or an awkward look across the room. it doesn’t take long to clock on that that’s not going to be the way to make many friends, and so we all stop and instead, go for the opposite.
‘omg im so ugly lol’ ‘i’m shit at that’ ‘ha i look terrible’
and of course, this then creates a grey grey cloud around you that’s hard to ignore. if you’re constantly saying bad things about yourself aloud, you really can’t help but absorb it.
so that’s where yeezy comes in
suppose we all went the opposite way, and in all of us doing it, it was normal and acceptable. imagine we all just said ‘thanks, i think im quite good at maths too’ or ‘yeah thank you i was feeling my look tonight too’ or ‘i reckon i could be successful i think i have a talent for it’. who created the rules against that?!
if we all decided to speak up for ourselves and assert that we know our worth, i’m sure we wouldn’t accept anyone treating us as any less. they’ll know the standard and you’ll have a higher chance of them sticking to it. if we all did it, you wouldn’t be singled out and you would be able to cheer the next person along
i’m by no means saying we should all start hurling ourselves onto someone shouting fuck me i am stunning, but that’s where we need to appreciate the difference between cocky and confident. if you’re not keen to risk that line being confused by others, try three little things that may just evolve and help
- say ‘thanks’ when you get a compliment. don’t say ‘no i don’t/can’t/shouldn’t’ or ‘thanks i got it for so cheap’. just accept the compliment, and throw one back if you fancy
- allow people to say something good about themselves without knocking it. don’t think you’ll get away with that ‘sneaky’ look at your friend- you won’t. allow them that self validation and know that you can return it
- if you’re not comfortable doing it outright yet, write a list every week or so of things you’re proud of yourself for. no one has to see it, you can do it in a diary or rip it up and chuck it after, but acknowledging your worth will only help you.
i think if we each did our part, we could swap the ‘normal’ and allow a lot more room for self love. we could all do with it, in a time when we’re constantly up for judging by anyone.
so anyway, yeah, just loooove yourselves, and let the next person, too